• jackknkillington

The artist Formerly known as Dangerous Toys: Circa 1995

I was never a fan of Dangerous Toys. I always considered them more hair metal than metal. Their first album was alright, I guess, but I would listen to them about as quickly as I would have listened to Mr. Big or Motley Spew, and Poison. Fuck the hell no.

Frankly, I hate hair metal (W.A.S.P. excluded. Fuck Like a Beast was the shit back in '81) with all the fiery intensity that my blackened, misshapen heart can muster. My teenage years were in the eighties. My musical mindset back then was pretty much this:

My parents got me a portable eight-track player, and a shit load of cassettes when I was like six or seven. It was bulky, plastic, and blue and I loved it. Steve Martin, Robin Williams, and other comedians as well as music like Jimmy Hendrix, and other groups I can't remember anymore. That's right, blue comedy albums and hippy music. I am forty-nine, and blue humor is still the best humor, but then I am probably still nine emotionally. Woahhhh Bundy.

Anyway. I jumped ship on that pretty quick, turning my attention to punk rock and Dr. Demento, Finding punk when I was about nine years old, then I found W.A.S.P. in 81' and wanted harder and faster music. I was delighted to find hard music was just starting to really come in. The most sultry tunes I had ever heard in my prepubescent, tween life. Music like Slayer, King Diamond, Anthrax, S.O.D. came into my life and formed a love for the hardest metal I could find which for the most part still exists to this day which now includes black and death metal.

The thought of listening to Dangerous toys or anything from that genre of music in the eighties/ early nineties was just not happening for me. But then in 95' I heard Cure the Sane, and my opinion of the group changed, at least for that album. I listened to the album incessantly for a while, at least until Antichrist Superstar came out, possibly the best album to come out of the nineties. Fuck Nirvana, Manson was the shit mid-nineties, although I did love Pearl Jam's Ten album.

My musical listening is far more eclectic now than it was back then. I listen to a broad range of different genres now, but I figured since I am listening to the aforementioned Dangerous Toys album right now I just wanted to say that The Artist Formerly Known as Dangerous Toys is one of the best albums to come out of the nineties. It is a highly underrated album. One that I actually had a hard time finding on YouTube. If you wanna listen to some good music, throw this album on. I doubt you will be disappointed, and if you are, oops, my bad.

Best songs on the album to me are:

Cure the Sane

Share the Kill


New Anger

Anyway, before I end this, I think you should also check another band called Super Famous Fun Time Guys. Captain Cocaine is one of the funniest things I have heard this year. They would be what ICP would be like if they didn't go to suck after the first card set.

Anyway, I think I have wasted enough of your life waxing nostalgic upon a band that blipped through the world over twenty years ago. Have a great night.

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